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Learn How to Stop Watching Porn with This Powerful, Unique Approach | 4 Keys to Quit Porn
If you want to learn how to stop watching porn, you need to understand the addiction and recovery trinities.
Porn addiction has several causes that play off of each other. They are physical, mental, spiritual, and relational. If you want to quit porn, you need to know what each of these are and how they work.
I learned how to stop watching porn 8 years ago. It doesn't mean that I never have challenging thoughts or that I don't still deal with cravings from time to time.
The difference now is that I understand addiction, and I have the tools I need to work through mental illness and other difficult experiences so I can come out on the other side victorious.
In this video, I teach you how to do the same.
Guidebook for quitting porn (FREE DOWNLOAD): https://www.becomeagoodman.com/
Private Facebook Group : https://www.facebook.com/groups/becomeagoodman
5-Month Program: https://www.becomeagoodman.com/no-more-desire-course
Other Courses for mental health and addiction recovery: https://www.becomeagoodman.com/courses
Podcast: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2056963/12511843
Transcription of Episode
My brother, welcome to the No More Desire podcast. My name's Jake Kastleman, founder Become A. Good Man, it is awesome to have you here today. Today you're gonna learn how to stop watching porn using a powerfully unique technique, probably a lot of things that you've never heard of doing, and I want you to stick around until the end because I'm gonna, I'm gonna share four.
Keys with you for overcoming porn addiction. Again, most of which you've probably never heard, not cliche, things like, uh, accountability buddies, filters, uh, pray the, the urge away. Kay. Not that prayer's not fantastic. It is. I love prayer, but I'm not gonna be sharing those things with you today. . What I'm gonna share with you today is a well-rounded approach, something that's taken me eight years of sobriety to understand, working with other people, seeing what it is that they go through and experience, and how we actually recover long-term and overcome porn addiction.
So that's what we're gonna talk about today. Um, so. To help support this channel. Okay. Um, if you're listening on the podcast or you're on YouTube, you're sure to subscribe and follow. Um, so I'd love to have you guys. When I became addicted to porn years ago, there were a lot of things, um, that I didn't understand about why I became addicted.
Okay? I had heard about the brain science. I just thought I had a dopamine addiction, right? And maybe that's what a lot of you think, right? It's, it's like, okay, I get hooked to this like a drug or like, Like a chemical. Right. And that's, that's why I'm at, why I am where I am right now. Now I wanted to quit, right?
I kept being told it was just as simple as replacing. My desires for porn with other things, right? Maybe you've been told this, like, uh, you just gotta get some hobbies. You just gotta get a passion. You just have to, uh, let's play basketball. Or every time you have a thought about porn, just do pushups, right?
Maybe you've heard some of these things. I was told a lot of these things over the years, but the thing is, . There's truth to this, okay? There's truth in that. You can, uh, get things in your life that bring either meaning or a sense of pleasure. Not, uh, not like a base pleasure like porn is. That's actually making your life worse, but maybe things that are outlets for you, okay?
There's truth to that, but it's not getting to the root of the, the addiction. Okay? In my last YouTube video or last. Podcast episode, I talked about that. Um, I talked about the two roots, which are shame and fear. If you wanna learn more about that and how that works, go to my last episode. Um, but today I'm gonna talk about a lot more that actually stems out from this.
And what I would highly recommend is before I dive into what are called the Addiction and Recovery Trinity's, if you go to Become A Good Man dot. You can get a free download. It's a free guidebook that's going to outline in a diagram how these trinity's work because you're gonna, you're gonna wanna see a visual of what I'm gonna talk about today.
So seriously, right now, go on Become A Good Man dot com. I'll wait for you to do it and download this guidebook. It's totally free. You just stick your name and email in. Go there right now. Become A Good Man dot com. You want to see this visually? Okay. Have you gone there? . Okay. So I hope you went there and grabbed that.
It is seriously high value. It's going to teach you a ton. So the thing about addiction is it's multifaceted. Okay? We can't, we can't just say addiction is one thing. Are there root issues of fear and shame that we feel within that, that drive us to that addiction? Yes. But there are other facets like, uh, that are.
that are mental, that are spiritual, that are relational, and I'm gonna talk about all four of those facet. Today. Okay. So it took me, it took me a long time to see this because the thing is when you feel like crap all the time, and when I was caught up in addiction, I felt like I felt like garbage a lot.
Maybe you can, uh, relate. Doesn't make you a bad person, it just means you're going through something hard and you need to know how to overcome. That's what I'm here to tell you how to do today. Okay. But when you're feeling like garbage all the time, I think of it the same way as your diet, right? Like when you're eating, uh, junk food all of the time.
you don't have any sense to know what foods might be causing you low energy, what foods might be harming your mental state, what foods might be causing you digestion problems versus foods that are ha actually making you feel good. Cuz if you're just eating crap, you, you don't know which way to look. You don't know what's causing what you don't know If maybe you're just tired today, or maybe it was that donut you ate, right?
Okay. It's the same thing with addiction. When you're caught up in it, it's hard to see through it. It's hard to know where is this stuff coming from, right? So it took me so long to see it, and once I started coming out of it, by the good grace of God, I started to see some of these different factors that worked into addiction.
I'm gonna tell you all about those, and I'm gonna tell you the answers for recovery if you stick around till the end. So, Over about, again, 12 years of time I've developed this. Okay. That was, that was spent, uh, in addiction, uh, trying to overcome it for several years, and then in eight years of sobriety. So in my five month program, I go in into these things in much more detail and depth, and I help you go through, uh, Daily written exercises, meditations, okay.
Things that are going to help you practice these things in your daily life. But today we'll cover a lot that will help you a ton. So let's talk about and dive right into the Addiction and Recovery charities. What are those? Okay. What are the addiction and recovery Trinity's again, go to Become A Good Man dot com, get that visual.
So, Let's start with the addiction Trinity. If you're looking at that visual right now, you know that at the core of the Addiction Trinity. Um, and for those of you who aren't looking at it, maybe you can't download it at the moment or, or take a look at it. Maybe you're listening. Okay. In the se, the Addiction Trinity's are set up, set up like this.
In the core of the Trinity, the core of addiction, you have fear and shame, and then branching out from there, you have three different secondary legs of addiction. Okay? So there's the core, and then there's secondary legs, three of 'em. That's why it's called a trinity. So again, at the core we have fear and shame.
This is the fear and the shame we're feeling on a daily basis, okay? In all sorts of things that we're going through. Whatever. Might be in our relationships at work, at school, in our, um, day-to-day life in, in hobbies and interactions with other people, whatever it might be. We're feeling fear, we're feeling shame, and these emotions are driving us to addiction.
They're at the core. Okay. Then branching out from there, we have to talk about the very first thing would be disconnect. Okay. That's at the top of the Trinity. And this might seem obvious to some of us, maybe you understand that addiction does come from disconnection, but disconnection is, it's all about our relationships in three different ways.
Okay? Our relationship with our self, our true self within, that's our eternal self, our spirit, our soul, right? That's the first. And then the other relationship is our relationship with. . All right. Or our higher power, right? Our creator. Okay. If you don't believe that, that's all right, but I do. That's what I live my life by.
I understand. I have a creator. There is God there, and my relationship with God is extremely important. Okay? If I don't feel that I don't stay sober, I need to keep that active in my life. It's okay if sometimes I feel a little more. But I keep practicing and keep working on having a strong relationship with God.
The other type of relationship is our relationship with other people, right? Maybe we have a dysfunctional relationship with people. Maybe we don't trust other people. Maybe we don't have good friends or good family members in our lives. When we experience that, when we experience a loneliness or we experience hostility with people, that is going to drive our a.
Again, at the core, we have the fear and the shame that is driving those disconnection issues with God, with ourself and other people. But we are experiencing disconnection and that disconnection every single part of the Trinity kay, including fear and shame. It's driving the addiction, right? So it's, it's at the beginning of addiction.
But then also the more, uh, the more addiction we experience, the more we experience the parts of the Trinity. So in other words, we feel fear and shame. , it drives us to addiction. We experience addiction. We feel more fear and shame. We feel fear and shame it. Or we, sorry. We feel, um, we feel disconnection, right?
It drives us to addiction. We feel addiction drives more disconnection in our lives, right? Because we feel mentally unwell. We feel unstable. We feel less worthy of other people's love or God's love, and we feel that disconnection, right? That's driving the addiction. It's both driving it and the addiction.